Marriage is a tradition that many people find meaningful, but personally, I have reservations about it. The concept of tying oneself legally and ceremonially to another doesn't resonate with me as much as the idea of loving someone by giving them the freedom to be themselves. In my view, true love is not about binding someone to you with vows but rather supporting them in their individual growth and journey.
While I may not believe in the institution of marriage, I deeply value commitment and integrity in relationships, especially now that I am a parent. My role as a parent has reinforced the importance of being dependable and honourable in my relationships, as these qualities provide a stable and loving environment for my kids.
Having witnessed my parents' separation later in life, I've seen firsthand that the bonds of marriage can unravel, no matter how long they've lasted. This experience has shaped my view that sometimes, even lifelong commitments can change, and it's essential to adapt and embrace freedom and individuality even within relationships.
Things change, circumstances change, people change.
Regarding the typical grand wedding celebrations, they seem extravagant to me. I believe the significant amounts of money spent on lavish ceremonies could be better used. For example, investing in a home or taking a memorable trip might provide more lasting satisfaction and joy. These practical choices seem especially prudent as one anticipates the demanding yet rewarding years of raising young children.
In essence, while I honor and uphold the commitments I make in my relationships, I believe that love is about freedom and support, rather than formal ties. And in practical terms, I see more value in using resources thoughtfully to build a secure and enjoyable future for a family.
This is what I had thought when her father asked me: “So, are you going to take my daughter’s hand now that you started popping grandkids for us or what?”
“Sir, I love your daughter, and I will take care of her; I just don’t believe in marriage, and I am not taking her hand, nor are we popping grandkids for you specifically,” I replied, momentarily questioning whether I had spoken aloud. Yes, I had.
His perplexed face looked at me, then he shook his head and unexpectedly hugged me. Then he told me, very close to my ear: “You are a good man; my daughter thinks the world of you. You are different, I can tell. But if you hurt her, you are done. I am sure you can understand now that you have a daughter yourself.”
“Sir, we are on the same page,” I replied.
“Good sport.”
This conversation reinforced my belief in the value of commitments that are chosen freely and are not bound by societal expectations. It highlighted that mutual respect and understanding are the real foundations of any lasting relationship.