Of course they were late, of all days they had to choose today, of course. I am both excited and terrified to introduce him to them. Dad is gonna grill him, for sure, I guess it’s healthy though, it’s also going to be telling how he dodges dad’s blows… I trust him, he’s gonna do OK, I wouldn’t have set all this thing up if I didn’t believe in him. Mum is going to give me that look and then she’s gonna embarrass me by being too loud with her honest but too honest comments.
Cars went by and I kept scanning for their Uber, they had shared the ride status with me but it had stopped a couple of blocks away from here. I thought it was a bug and I tried to call them instead, unsuccessfully. I’d better go back inside and check on him, they are not picking up their phones anyway… assholes, funny how roles reversed, they used to lose it at me when I didn’t pick up on their phone calls within the first three seconds.
I headed back and now he was gone too, what’s going on today? Lemme call him.
“Babe, where are you? I see some glasses on the table” — I inquired confused and a bit concerned, everyone was giving up on me today, on this important day.
“Hehe, turn around…” — he replied with his amused voice.
I did and, damn it, dad did it again, one of his pranks. They were all together already, at their, I guess, second round of drinks, talking crap about me for sure! They looked fine, enjoying themselves, maybe things are going well!
“Hey mum, hey dad! I thought you were lost… what happened?” — I asked as I kissed and hugged them. Dad spin me around lifting me and then joked about me being too heavy for his back.
“Update your repertoire dad, these are like 20 years old jokes!”
“If they are not broken, don’t fix them!” — he answered while winking at me and pointing at my big smile and pinching my cheek right afterwards.
“We were just telling your handsome boyfriend, or should I say fiancée…” — mum added “muuuuuuummmmm!!” I promptly stopped her while feeling a build up of heat on my face, especially my cheeks.
Dad, very entertained, grabbed mum’s hip and finished her sentence “yeah, so we were telling your —friend— about that time you used to love spinning at the park on that thing, the spinning thing thingy” he was at it again, I couldn’t stop laughing.
As jokes, laughter and awkwardness kept unfolding I kinda zoomed out, like if I separated from my body and observed the whole thing in third person. That’s what I want, what mum and dad have. Is this it? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe they already ran a background check on him, they jokingly came in early to spook him out or something like that. Dad loved to test characters, mum loved to test dad so… so far I’d say this meeting is a success!
As I went to nod to myself in approval I was again in the middle of it and they were all looking at me, like waiting for an answer.
“What? Why are you guys looking at me like that?” — I asked everyone and no one in particular. “You didn’t touch your drink, is there anything you want to tell us?” — dad asked me, again, apparently I didn’t hear it the first time around. Shit, he had figured out already! Actually, maybe it was mum, she whispered something to his ear and I had noticed how she was looking at my body, at how my clothes fitted… she wouldn’t have dared, dad, instead, didn’t give a single ef, some things never change…
“…Early, early days… that’s also why you guys are here” I replied, again excited and a bit scared, I looked at them both in the eyes. In one instant — tears. Two tears of joy cut open my dad’s face as he hugged me, this time, refraining from spinning me around. Mum wiped them off his face with her hand and asked me “Are you happy? You look happy” with her cracking voice while my dad fake punched my… friend and then congratulated him, slowly morphing into a more composed face, I noticed for the first time some wrinkles on his forehead, were they new?
“Your balls, mind them. You better be a man with our little, not so little girl anymore… she is one of our most precious accomplishments in life and I will make sure that she is OK no matter what, I am sure you can understand… you are going to take care of her, correct?” — dad told him with his trademark serious face.
“Yes sir, it’s going to be my duty but also my pleasure, I love her very much, sir” he answered as he gave him a strong handshake without losing eye contact for a second. He had never told me that he loved me and now he told my dad.
—
Naturally, they chose today of all days to be late. The mixture of excitement and terror at introducing my boyfriend to my parents was palpable. I knew Dad would put him through the wringer—it’s just his way, but how my boyfriend navigates Dad’s interrogation would be telling. I had faith in him; otherwise, I wouldn’t have arranged this meeting.
Mom would certainly give me that look before inevitably embarrassing me with her loud and brutally honest comments.
As cars passed by, I anxiously scanned each one for their Uber. They had shared their ride status, which oddly showed a stop a few blocks away. Assuming it was a glitch, I attempted to call them, to no avail.
Frustrated and a bit amused by the irony—I remembered how they’d panic if I missed their calls within the first three seconds—I decided to head back inside. Maybe they were having trouble connecting as well. The roles had amusingly reversed.
Inside, my boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. What on earth was happening today? Dialing his number, I tried to hide my concern.
“Babe, where are you? I see some glasses on the table,” I asked, more confused than ever, feeling a bit abandoned on this important day.
“Hehe, turn around…” His voice, laced with amusement, came through the phone.
As I turned, a mixture of relief and annoyance washed over me—Dad’s penchant for pranks had struck again. There they all were, laughing together, presumably at my expense, already on their second round of drinks. Perhaps things were going better than I expected.
“Hey, Mom, Dad! Thought you’d gotten lost...what happened?” I greeted them with hugs and kisses. Dad, in his typical fashion, lifted me in a playful spin, joking about my weight—a tease as ancient as time.
“Update your jokes, Dad. They’re like 20 years old!”
“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!” He retorted, his wink and the pinch on my cheek drawing a big smile from me.
Mom, ever the instigator of blushes, hinted at my boyfriend being more than just that, prompting my immediate, flustered protest. Dad, seizing the opportunity for another jest, recounted my childhood antics with his usual flair, leaving us all in stitches.
As the evening unfolded, filled with jokes and moments of awkward laughter, I found myself momentarily stepping back, observing the scene as if from outside my body. This warmth, this teasing affection, was exactly what I wanted. Had they done their due diligence on him, surprising us both by arriving early? It seemed Dad’s character tests and Mom’s subtle endorsements were in full swing—a promising sign.
Caught in my thoughts, I barely noticed the silence that had fallen over the room until their collective gaze turned to me, expectant.
“What? Why are you all staring?” I asked, genuinely puzzled.
“You haven’t touched your drink. Is there something you want to share?” Dad’s voice, filled with a mix of curiosity and concern, broke through my reverie.
Realizing the significance of the moment—and perhaps that Mom had already guessed the truth—I met their eyes, a mix of joy and apprehension swirling within me.
In an instant, tears of happiness etched lines down Dad’s face as he embraced me, his usual playful spin tempered by the gravity of the moment. Mom, with a gentle touch, wiped his tears away, her voice trembling as she sought confirmation of my happiness.
Dad’s serious demeanor returned as he addressed my boyfriend, emphasizing the importance of caring for their cherished daughter. The sincerity and love in my boyfriend’s affirmation, a declaration he had yet to make directly to me, sealed the moment with its profound significance.