“Two bedroom, two bathrooms, one ensuite. Five acres of land with your very own small pine forest and stunning views of the mountains. Ideal for people seeking refuge in solitude and/or willing to setup a short term rental” that was the headline of the ad. I had been reading and rereading so much that I had memorized it.
That was my opportunity, I had to start somewhere. All my friends and even people ten or fifteen years younger than me owned multiple units and were in the flipping game since 2020. I have been sceptical, I thought prices were too high, a bubble. But now I realised that I was left behind, the cash I had in my bank account was losing purchasing power like if it was set on fire, the financial markets looked increasingly like a casino, real-estate was the way, I was going to buy low, fix it, upgrade it with a jacuzzi or stuff like that and ultimately set up a gorgeous short term rental. At that point I was gonna be a TikTok star like all the chads I was following and make some good cheese, metaphorically speaking.
I maxed out my credit card, set up a company and recycled money a few times to make it look like I had cash flow, the rest was easy, at the bank they briefly looked at he papers, ran a standard check and it was all green. Boom, I had my cash! The interest on the loan was astronomical but it didn’t matter, I was going to print in there! There was literally no competition and the place was… pictoresque! Yes, that’s the word I need to use for SEO.
Five months in and I am still hustling, I had a couple of customers, friends of friends that I had hosted for free and to have reviews. Five stars! They had stained the sofa with wine and dropped something heavy on the floor, breaking some tiles but apart from that it was a success, now my establishment, “The loner ridge”, that’s how I called it, was going to have the credibility necessary to start generating some serious cash.
Another six months went by and I had only two guests, three and three and a half stars, respectively: “The hot water was cold, low pressure. Avoid” “There’s nothing around, internet was slow”
The bank called again, they are not going to wait any longer for the payments. I joined a mentorship group, dropped five grand for it, I did everything to the letter but nothing worked.
“It’s the economy” was the common theme. How was it possible? The stock market was making new all time highs every day, unemployment was low and all, minimum wages was increasing, where’s everyone?
I should have listened to ButtWiffHat523 and YOLO shitcoins, he had bought two lambos months ago, right now he must own a few mansions as well.
I am such a loser.